All Y'all! Listen up!

Having lived in Arkansas for a decade I will vouch for these "rules". It is a way of life and being from "Up There" I had to blend as best I could.

ADVICE FOR ANYONE MOVING TO ARKANSAS:

• 1. Save all bacon grease. You will be instructed later how to use it.
• 2. If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the cab of a four wheel drive with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
• 3. Remember: "Y'all" is singular. "All y'all" is plural. "All y'all's" is plural possessive.
• 4. Get used to the phrase "It's not the heat, it's the humidity". And the collateral phrase "You call this hot? Wait'll August."
• 5. Don't tell us how you did it up there. Nobody cares.
• 6. If you think it's too hot, don't worry. It'll cool down-in December.
• 7. A Mercedes-Benz is not a status symbol, a Chevy, Dodge, or Ford is.
• 8. If someone says they're "fixin" to do something, that doesn't mean anything's broken.
• 9. The value of a parking space is not determined by the distance to the door, but the availability of shade.
• 10. If you see a slower moving vehicle on a two lane road pull onto the shoulder that is called "courtesy".
• 11. BBQ is a food group. It does NOT mean grilling burgers and hot dogs outdoors.
• 12. Yes, weddings, funerals, and divorces must take into account for deer season.
• 13. Everything is better with Ranch dressing.
• 14. DO NOT honk your horn at us to be obnoxious, we will sit there until we die.
• 15. We pull over and stop for emergency vehicles to pass.
• 16. We pull over for funeral processions, turn our music off and men remove hats or caps. Some people put their hand over their heart.
• 17. "Bless your Heart" is a nice way of many different things, lol.
• 18. No mater what kind : Sprite, Coke, Pepsi, Mountain Dew, it isn't called soda or pop. Its all called coke.
• 19. If you don't like the weather in Arkansas wait 15 minutes, it will change.