It's MichiGANDER, not MichiGANIAN!
I grew up in Michigan and I returned many decades ago. I get it! But you may not. So here you go.
You might be a Michigander ...
- ... if you define Summer as three months of bad sledding.
- ... if your definition of a small town is one that doesn't have a lake.
- ... if your family breaks into violence during the UM-MSU game (any
- ... if snow tires come standard on all your cars.
- ... if at least 50% of your relatives work for the auto industry.
- ... if you have ever gotten frostbitten and sunburned in the same week.
- ... if you can identify an Ohio accent.
- ... if owning a Japanese car was a hanging offense in your home town.
- ... if you learned to pilot a boat before the training wheels were off
- ... if you think Alkaline batteries were named after a Tiger outfielder.
- ... if you point at the palm of your right hand when telling people
where you grew up. PIC
- ... if you don't understand what the big deal about Chicago is.
- ... if someone asks you if you've been to Europe and you answer, "No,
but I've been to Ann Arbor..."
- ... if "Down South" to you means Toledo.
- ... if you have any idea who Bob Ufer was.
- ... if octopus and hockey go together as naturally as hot dogs and
- ... if traveling coast to coast means going from Port Huron to Muskegon.
- ... if you remember when Hell froze over. PIC
- ... if you refer to your relatives in southern Michigan as "trolls" or
- ... if the "Big Three" can mean either Ford, Chrysler and GM or
Domino's, Little Ceaser's and Hungry Howie's.
- ... if a Big Mac is something you can drive across.
- ... if you have no problem spelling Mackinac Island.
- ... if you had to get a passport to go to Ohio.
- ... if you have as many Canadian coins in your pockets as American ones.
- ... if your kid's baseball or softball games games have been ever been
- ... if the trees in your backyard have spigots.
- ... if you know that a place called "Kalamazoo" really exists.
- ... if you bake with "soda" and drink "pop".
- ... if you know what a pastie is.
- ... if you drive 70 mph on the highway and pass on the right.
- ... if your favorite hockey team's mascot is an octopus.
- ... if you have a favorite hockey team.
- ... if you don't have a coughing fit from one sip of Vernor's.
- ... if you know how to play Euchre.
- ... if you classify your friends and relatives as "yoopers," "trolls,"
"Canadians," or "not from 'round here,".
- ... if you know at least 2 yooper jokes.
- ... if fudge and bicycles remind you of your honeymoon.
- ... if you can name all 5 of the Great Lakes, and point to their
locations around your left and right hands.
- ... if you don't cross picket lines.
- ... if you used to think Deer Season included an official school
- ... if you know that Pontiac and Cadillac are cities.
- ... if you've been to Hell and to Paradise and back again.
- ... if you had Tornado Drills in elementary school.
- ... if you know all the words to Gordon Lightfoot's classic ballad, "The
Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald"
- ... if you can actually pronounce Ypsilanti.
- ... if the first decision you have to make on an international trip
is, "bridge or tunnel?"
- ... if you own only three spices - salt, pepper and ketchup.
- ... if you design your Halloween costumes to fit over a snowsuit.
- ... if you have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
- ... if you have 10 favorite recipes for venison.
- ... if Home Depot on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores at Christmas.
- ... if you've taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard.
- ... if driving is better in the winter because the potholes get filled with snow.
- ... if you think everyone from the city has an accent.
- ... if you think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightie with only 8 buttons.
- ... if you owe more money on your snowmobile than your car.
- ... if the local paper covers national and international headlines on l/4 page, but requires 6 pages for
- ... if your snow blower gets stuck on the roof.
- ... if summer takes place the second week of July (and it still rains!!).
- ... if you know which leaves make good toilet paper.
- ... if you find -20F a little chilly.
- ... if the trunk of your car doubles as a deep freezer.
- ... if you attended a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewelry and your snowmobile boots.
- ... if shoveling the driveway constitutes a great upper body workout.
- ... if you know the 4 seasons: Winter, Still Winter, Almost Winter, and Construction.
- ... if the municipality buys a zamboni before a bus.
- ... if you drink "Vernors" and play "Euchre".
- ... if you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through
18 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will
- ... if you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights
each year because Pellston is the coldest spot in the nation.
- ... if your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March.
- ... if you instinctively walk like a penquin for five months out of the
- ... if you have worn shorts and a coat at the same time.
- ... if "vacation" means going up north on I-75.
- ... if you know several people who have hit a deer more than once.
- ... if you often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
- ... if you can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging
blizzard, without flinching.
- ... if you see people wearing camouflage at social events (including
- ... if you carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how
to use them.
- ... if your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to
your blue spruce.
- ... if you were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.
- ... if down South to you means Ohio.
- ... if a brat is something you eat.
- ... if your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole barn.
- ... if you go out to a fish fry every Friday.
- ... if your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.
- ... if your doctor tells you to drink Vernors and you know it's not
- ... if you know what a Yooper is.
- ... if you know that UP is a place, not a direction.
- ... if you know it's possible to live in a thumb. PIC
If you actually understand these references forward this to all your Michigan friends.