Why Are Company Cars Better?
Have you ever wondered why people are so hyped when they get a company car? This will help explain this phoenomenom. It's because they are made differently!
Company cars are better than regular cars because ..
- They travel faster in all gears, especially reverse.
- They accelerate at a phenomenal rate.
- They enjoy a much shorter braking distance.
- They can take bumps at twice the speed of private cars.
- Oil, battery, tire pressures and fluid levels do not need to be checked
nearly so often.
- They have a much tighter turning radius.
- The floor is shaped like an ashtray.
- They only burn the cheapest gas available.
- They do not have to be garaged at night.
- They can be driven up to 100 miles with the oil warning light on.
- They need cleaning less often, especially inside.
- The suspension and trunk floor are reinforced to allow concrete slabs and
other heavy building materials to be carried.
- They are adapted to allow reverse to be engaged while the car is still in
- The tire side walls are designed for bumping into and over curbs.
- Unusual and alarming engine noises are easily eliminated by the adjustment
of the radio volume control.
- No security is needed. They may be left anywhere, unlocked, with the keys
in the ignition.
- They have special batteries that can be drained and jumped repeatedly
without damaging the electrical system.
- They come with "temporary" spares that are good for 50,000 miles.
- They have specially reinforced bumpers for moving annoying objects, such
as shopping carts and sub-compact cars in parking lots.
- All repairs can be accomplished with the cheapest after-market parts
- Parking brakes do not need to be dis-engaged to drive.
- When parking on a hill, it is safe to leave it gear and ignore the parking
- The upholstery is impervious to stains, burns, and makeup.
- They are easily parked in spaces intended for much smaller cars.
- They are bullet-proof, so you can be as obnoxious behind the wheel as you
want to be.