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Used Car Classifieds Translations

If the ad says... it really means...

MUST SELL
before it blows up.
RUNS FINE -
I was going to say "runs excellent" but I had a last minute attack of conscience.
NEEDS SOME BODY WORK -
was side-swiped by a Winnebago.
Many new parts -
I'm sick of dumping money into this broken down heap.
WELL-MAINTAINED -
I occasionally changed the oil.
Appraised at $29,000 -
By me.
Frame-off Restoration -
>The body actually rusted right off the frame.
Needs Front-End Alignment.
Some serious frame-straightening wouldn't hurt either
Same Owner For Last 20 Years
I'd never dream of selling it unless it was as bad as it is.
LOOKS LIKE NEW -
just don't try to drive it anywhere.
ALL ORIGINAL -
I never had anything fixed, adjusted, or replaced
LOADED WITH OPTIONS -
each one more troublesome than the last.
NEVER SMOKED IN -
unfortunately, that's the best thing I can say about it.
PROJECT CAR - .
I can't figure out how to finish it and I doubt you will either
LOTS OF POTENTIAL -
to drive you insane.
NEEDS MINOR REPAIR -
doesn't run.
ENGINE QUIET -
uses 90-weight oil
PARTS CAR -
beyond repair.
ROUGH CONDITION
too bad to lie about.
Must See To Appreciate -
It's a scientific mystery as to how a car with bad valves, a cracked block, and no bands left in the transmission can still get to the end of the driveway and back.
Needs Minor Work
Needs significant work.
Needs Nothing
Except a tow truck.
All Original
Except for the tunnel ram intake, Pro Stock hoodscoop, KMart sunroof, fender flares by Bondo, Krylon paint job, hurky air shocks, mohair upholstery, Pep Boy stereo, and pawn shop wheels.
Ready To Restore
After 8 years of abuse on the drag strip and 20 years in a field exposed to the elements, it is ready to be restored.
Easy Project Car
Completely disassembled, bring boxes!
IMMACULATE
recently washed.
CONCOURS
recently waxed.
NEEDS MINOR OVERHAUL
needs engine.
NEEDS MAJOR OVERHAUL
phone the junkyard.
BURNS NO OIL
it all leaks out.
REBUILT ENGINE
cleaned the spark plugs.
Minor Rust
Don't sit down!
Major rust you can�t see
I though I had it all covered with bondo, but you can still see some rust.
Low Mileage
Only 170,000.
Runs Great
Too bad it doesn't roll.
Third Owner
To see the light and get rid of this piece of junk.
Nice Stereo
To overcome exhaust noise.
California Car
And has been since it arrived from Cleveland three weeks ago.
DRIVE IT AWAY
I live on a hill.
DRIVE IT ANYWHERE
within 10 miles.
DESIRABLE CLASSIC
no one wants it.
RARE CLASSIC
no one wanted it even when it was new.
STORED 20 YEARS
in a farmer's field.
RAN WHEN STORED
won't start.
NEVER APART
bolts too rounded to loosen.
SOLID AS A ROCK
rusted solid
RESTORED, WITH 0 MILES
won't start.
RESTORED, WITH 2 MILES
won't stay running.
OLDER RESTORATION
first owner washed it.
GOOD INVESTMENT
can't be worth much less.
NO TIME TO RESTORE IT
can't obtain parts.
95% COMPLETE
other 5% doesn't exist.
CLEAN
homeless dude at 5th and Main did the windows.
GOOD TRANSPORTATION
It's ugly as sin.
ENGINE BLUEPRINTED
I don't know what it means either.
EXCELLENT GAS MILEAGE
It's slow.
LOW MILES
the odometer was turned back.
ONE OWNER
can't give it away.
SURE TO APPRECIATE
that's why I'm selling it.
OR BEST OFFER
I'm guessing here.
FASTER THAN A 'VETTE
A Chevette.
OTHER INTERESTS CONFLICT
spouse's ultimatum: "Either that #!!@&## thing goes or I do!"